Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
