oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
