It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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