Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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