Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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