He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
