My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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