On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
