I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
