Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
