Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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