i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
