New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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