Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.

(513): View more from Ohio

I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

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(916): View more from California

Michael Bay diarrhea

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(585): View more from New York

broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.

(716): View more from New York

you're writing country songs now?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.

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(519): View more from Ontario

If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes

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(315): View more from New York

I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun

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(585): View more from New York

A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment

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(636): View more from Missouri

Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.

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