I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
