And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
