So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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