So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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