gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
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