if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
