I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I want a musical about memes.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize