I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
