But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
