were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
