Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
