umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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