love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
