Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
