Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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