we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
