ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm lost and stupid without you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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