I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize