on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
