Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
