her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
