I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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