from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
