I love black thongs
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
