i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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