I'm so fucking centered right now
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
