My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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