I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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