There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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