dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
