i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
