When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
