Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize