We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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