its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You were trust falling into bushes
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
