Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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