this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize