He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
