He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
