I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize