mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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