yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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