I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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