with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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