She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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