he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
