thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Mom said you looked used
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My ass is underappreciated
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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