It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
