I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
