He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
