He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
