your thong is hanging out like whoa
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
