why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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