wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
