I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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