it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize