so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
