you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
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