What a fucking waste of an outfit
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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