can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
