I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
