No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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