I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
