I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
