so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
