The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
