I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
