I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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