I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize